If Airlines Sold Paint

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Surprise, you’re on candid camera! – Government taking facial recognition pictures when traveling internationally –

Many people have been surprised to find out the government has quietly been taking facial recognition pictures for millions of people when they travel internationally. The new program was started in 2017 and this year will expand to all airports who offer international service. Customs and Border Protection (CBP) says these “facial scans” will allow them to catch the bad guys easier and they have recently shared several success stories they have had using facial recognition. Currently, security methods use passports as the main means of identification. Passports have many limitations as they can easily be copied and reproduced. Some people (like me) are a little worried that this is the start of the “Big Brother” syndrome. If you want to see some scary facial recognition technology simply upload your photos to Google Photos and put a name on any photo. Google photos will then bring up all the pictures in your album with that person in it. CLICK HERE for more info.


How crazy are airfares? –

The one-way price to fly from Omaha to Seattle (1654 miles) is $114. The one-way price to fly from Omaha to Minneapolis (378 miles) is $319. In other words, it is $205 cheaper to fly 1276 miles farther. Obviously, this makes no sense at all. This reminded me of one of the funniest articles ever written about airfare pricing called “If Airlines Sold Paint”. Enjoy.

If Airlines Sold Paint –

This year marks the 20th anniversary of one of the funniest articles ever written about how crazy airline prices are. It was written by a good friend and wonderful gentleman, Al Hess. Please enjoy, “If Airlines Sold Paint”.

Buying paint from a hardware store

Customer: Hi. How much is your paint?
Clerk: We have regular quality for $12 a gallon and premium for $18. How many gallons would you like?
Customer: Five gallons of regular quality, please.
Clerk: Great. That will be $60 plus tax.

Buying paint from an airline

Customer: Hi, how much is your paint?
Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends.
Customer: Depends on what?
Clerk: Actually, a lot of things.
Customer: How about giving me an average price?
Clerk: Wow, that’s too hard a question. The lowest price is $9 a gallon, and we have 150 different prices up to $200 a gallon.
Customer: What’s the difference in the paint?
Clerk: Oh, there isn’t any difference; it’s all the same paint.
Customer: Well, then, I’d like some of that $9 paint.
Clerk: Well, first I need to ask you a few questions. When do you intend to use it?
Customer: I want to paint tomorrow, on my day off.
Clerk: Sir, the paint for tomorrow is the $200 paint.
Customer: What? When would I have to paint in order to get the $9 version?
Clerk: That would be in three weeks, but you will also have to agree to start painting before Friday of that week and continue painting until at least Sunday.
Customer: You’ve got to be kidding!
Clerk: Sir, we don’t kid around here. Of course, I’ll have to check to see if we have any of that paint available before I can sell it to you.
Customer: What do you mean check to see if you can sell it to me? You have shelves full of that stuff; I can see it right there.
Clerk: Just because you can see it doesn’t mean that we have it. It may be the same paint, but we sell only a certain number of gallons on any given weekend. Oh, and by the way, the price just went to $12.
Customer: You mean the price went up while we were talking!
Clerk: Yes, sir. You see, we change prices and rules thousands of times a day, and since you haven’t actually walked out of the store with your paint yet, we just decided to change. Unless you want the same thing to happen again, I would suggest that you get on with your purchase. How many gallons do you want?
Customer: I don’t know exactly. Maybe five gallons. Maybe I should buy six gallons just to make sure I have enough.
Clerk: Oh, no, sir, you can’t do that. If you buy the paint and then don’t use it, you will be liable for penalties and possible confiscation of the paint you already have.
Customer: What?
Clerk: That’s right. We can sell you enough paint to do your kitchen, bathroom, hall and north bedroom, but if you stop painting before you do the bedroom, you will be in violation of our tariffs.
Customer: But what does it matter to you whether I use all the paint? I already paid you for it!
Clerk: Sir, there’s no point in getting upset; that’s just the way it is. We make plans based upon the idea that you will use all the paint, and when you don’t, it just causes us all sorts of problems.
Customer: This is crazy! I suppose something terrible will happen if I don’t keep painting until after Saturday night!
Clerk: Yes, sir, it will.
Customer: Well, that does it! I’m going somewhere else to buy my paint.
Clerk: That won’t do you any good, sir. We all have the same rules. Thanks for flying–I mean painting–with our airline.

Four Great Tours with Women of Nebraska – Attend our FREE TravelNight! –

Pick your favorite domestic destination and attend our FREE Women of Nebraska TravelNight, October 2, taking place at The Harbor Coffeehouse, 1265 S. Cotner Blvd, in Lincoln! Learn about four great escorted domestic tours taking off in 2019: “Historic South”,“Washington, D.C.”“Great Trains & Grand Canyons” and the amazing “Albuquerque Balloon Festival”. To read the full details of each tour, CLICK HERE. Call or email our friendly Group Department today or CLICK HERE to secure your spot on October 2 to learn all the details and meet our wonderful tour hostesses, 402-435-8888, GroupDepartment@executivetravel.com.

Need information on any of the above?
Call our friendly travel advisors…
Lincoln – 402-435-8888 Toll-free 800-737-0582